Speed Bumps

I once heard a segment on NPR shortly after I moved back to California. The narrator said something so deep, it resonated and I have carried it into my daily life for the past 15 years.

“WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE IN THE FACE OF DISAPPOINTMENT?”

Hmm, this was shortly before I was fired from my dream job. The only time I’ve ever been fired and in a strangely beautiful turn of events, it was a lifeline for my family during the 08’ recession. At the time I never would have known how all these stories were to play out and how it was the beginning of adopting my own quick reflexes. At that time, this quote stuck deep in my soul and heavy on my heart, therefore I wrote my previous employer a thank you note. Not only was I raised well, I felt like I was so incredibly blessed to be able to have my dream job even if it was only for a year and a half. I learned so much about horses, large animal medicine, human behaviour, and business during my tenure that became the synthesis of my own professional development. I learned how to create my dream job with myself as my employer, so I could never be fired again.

Since that time, I have swerved and climbed and continued to follow whatever path is thrown my way. This past year has been a journey of self discovery and a test of my fortitude. There are so many times I could have just given up and succumb to the inalienable pressure of societal norms. It definitely hasn’t been one of my hardest years, just a sweet time of gratitude and reflection. There have been difficult times for sure and many disappointments, yet I’m continually striving to contain stress with grace. This past bought of unsteadiness spanned a couple months that had been predicated by a seemingly calm summer. Although this year has been full of doubt, fear, and uncertainty; I have found myself developing roots and sowing seeds. My life has become incredibly simple and efficient. Even the daily mundane is a pleasurable experience and sprinkled with my rebellion to do whatever I want. I do find myself as a fairly strict and disciplined boss. I’ve shed previous unhealthy habits and introduced routine. My work is so enjoyable and intertwined in my life that it’s sometimes difficult to tell if I’m working or not. Is travelling to new places, doing fun things, and taking pictures of your jewellery while telling a story…..really working? sometimes.

rarely

if ever

it’s more of

a lifestyle

I have worked hard to curate my life. To only allow beautiful and healthy things into my life. I have to continually detox and cleanse. To assess and critically process interactions with a soft soul yet a discerning mind. To make difficult decisions. To let go. To let live. To live in truth.

I enjoy my own company. I can entertain myself solely for long periods of time. Therefore, to be in my life, your company has to be the same or hopefully better than my own. Time is so precious. It can be over at any moment. It can never be bought. Time is something no one has control of. SO I sure do want to make the very BEST of mine. I know that no matter what road I travel on and no matter what speed bumps I encounter, I can reside steady in the knowledge that I can handle it. I can move through the difficulty with grace and be of character in the face of disappointment.